Viz, a satirical comic in from the UK, used to carry a series called Viz Top Tips. They were a parody of the top tips you might find in women’s magazines. Examples included:
WHEN throwing someone a sharp instrument such as a Stanley knife, or bread knife, always throw it blade first as they invariably tend to turn whilst in the air.
SMELL gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
BOMB disposal experts’ wives. Keep hubby on his toes by packing his lunchbox with plasticine and an old alarm clock.
SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner’s hat.
AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to ‘fast wipe’ whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.
NERVOUS people. Never chew the inside of your cheeks whilst on high strength prescription painkillers.
I’ve found the medical equivalent of these at the Postgraduate Medicine website:
Without moisture, candidal organisms don’t thrive. Rash may persist in both adults and children because the ointments they use hold moisture to the skin.
Many of my patients seem to get relief when the skin is exposed to medium heat from a hair dryer or 100-watt bulb. This is done two or three times a day for 10 to 20 minutes.